no, don’t call, because we LOVE to sit in traffic on the freeways of l.a.

we’d planned weekly visits with j’s birth mother (“bio-mom” sounds a little too much like “octo-mom” lately…and i’m not a fan, so i’ve stopped using that term). three weeks ago she called at about 10 a.m. to say she couldn’t make it, but that she DEFINITELY wanted to visit him the following week as it was the day before his birthday. she did make it last week, but then left after 30 minutes because she said she had a job interview. i specifically said see you next week to make sure that there would be a visit the following week. she said, definitely, i want to give him his birthday, as has become our routine every tuesday, we left work a bit early, woke j up from his nap at school, and drove the 30 or so minutes (which means WAY longer in l.a.) to the sw’s office for the visit. birth mother was a no-show, and didn’t bother to call this time. if j was older i really don’t know how we would’ve explained this to him. i wonder what foster parents of older children do in this situation… did she not have a gift and felt embarassed? is she working now? is she in school? has she moved yet again? so many questions unanswered.

we are going to assume that’s there is no visit next week unless she calls to confirm. may 14 is the big day, and we’ve received our written notification (as i’m sure birth mother has, too) that the social worker is recommending tpr and adoption by US.

this post title sounds snippety, which is what happens when you sit in l.a.’s traffic. but in some ways it seems that it brings us closer to being his forever family. whatever happens, i feel so, so blessed to have this little boy in my life. blessed beyond belief.



Filed under adoption, foster care

2 responses to “no, don’t call, because we LOVE to sit in traffic on the freeways of l.a.

  1. May 14th is so very close…lots of prayers for you in the meantime 🙂

  2. Juan

    Wow–you have had him less than a year and they are talking about TPR. I guess CA doesn’t mess around with parents. I hope things work out for you and him. I understand the disappointment about his birthday. We have been brought to tears more than once over the fact that our foster son’s birth parents are not motivated to be with their son. He is the most beautiful child ever and how come they can’t see that. It’s funny we cry because we want them to stay and then turn around and cry because we are sad that they had to be placed in foster care in the first place. I think if we ever get to adoption day, I will be a blithering mess–it will be incredibly happy and horribly sad day for me.

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